On the hot SPOT!

Yesterday there was a mother touring the daycare center for her toddler son. I was in the infant's room towards the end of the day. My director came in with the mother and said that the mother wanted to meet the toddler teacher (that would be me). All of the sudden I was put on the spot to answer "21 questions" about myself as a teacher and what I can offer her son if he was to come to my room. I felt "on the hot spot". First, no mother has done that before (that I have came across by). Second, I froze because I did not expect to be interviewed by a parent about my job. Third, apparently I looked really nervous (as my director told me later).
So here is what I experienced during from within:
1.  Hot flashes of embarrassment all over my body because I didn't know what to respond to the mother.
2. I felt unprepared thus I didn't know how to respond.
3. I had to make up what I said because I was "pleasing" the mother with responses she would have liked to hear.
4. When asked "what is the one thing I love about my job" I paused and in my head I was blanked. What IS the one thing I like about my job? I have been so disengaged in my job for some time because of issues with organization within the company and how things are handled. I have felt like I just don't want to be there to begin with. Everyday I go there, the best time is when children are going home. I have been easily annoyed with children's behaviors...and so on. So what response was I to give the mother...LoL. That I hated this place?

When the mother left and I realized all these points especially the last one (which in reality caused the other 3 points to come out as they did)- that was an embarrassment of itself for myself. How can I call myself a "teacher"? Where has my "passion" for teaching gone, my self expression with the children, with willing to teach, show, demonstrate! This is a serious point to look at. I mean I chose this profession (programmed way or not). I was self driven, open and dedicated to bring myself to the classroom, to come to the classroom and give what I would give myself as a student, what I would give myself to my child and to all children as myself. After all that is "what is best for all", that is equality and oness, caring equally-waking up and being exited about coming to the classroom.
Where did I get discouraged down the way? Was it the disappointment of limitation about what I can bring to the classroom environment, set up the classroom environment? Is it that I feel useless, annoyed with children's behavior, having to correct behavior without knowing how to approach it? Is it leaving work "miserable" because in reality I have not accomplished anything? Is it that I simply have given up on myself thus given up on everything else that I touch? Is it that my day just moves by with no visible self progress?

It is all of the above and more, and these points, perspectives are entwined, feeding off one another. So what can I do? There is one key point that if worked on it will "delete" all others by default. So what is the key point? What is the "me" point that I am facing here? The rest is a simple outflow.
-Self effectiveness
-Self progress
-Who am I as the expression of a teacher?
-Self enjoyment

http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page (who we are, what we do)

http://desteni.org/ (investigate topics of interests and self)

http://equalmoney.org/ (place your vote for Equal Money System)

http://eqafe.com/ (purchase products and support Equal Money System)

2012 How I Was Able to Hear the Desteni Message!

It is as simple as having your ears open and be actually ready to accept that there is another way to life that is NOT the product of abuse, suffering and survival.
The most important thing that clicked to me is that we create through our participation. I was able to see how participation in Religion, Sects, Wars, Capitalism, Communism, Spirituality, all the "isms" and so on is creating polarity of inferior and superior, a huge separation. I was able to see that this polarity is deliberately in place so that few can have and many can suffer, including animals and plants. I was able to see that none of this actually makes sense in what life should be because Earth offers its resources to us for everyone to share and co-exists. Life was "given" to everyone/thing equally, thus the rights for existing in the physical must be shared equally. I was able to see that it is ridiculously idiotic to believe in "life after death" from the perspective that we return to a "heaven" in some other dimension and NOT realize that life is actually HERE in the physical, that Earth is our "heaven"/home and we are destroying the very dimension that allows us to breathe and experience life in the physical. I saw that instead of worrying about some accession, acceptance of GOD or salvation, we should be seriously be worried about what we do to ourselves, to our existence NOW, to Earth, to each other and how we live with what has been offered for us HERE.
When the idea about the Equal Money System was suggested I immediately saw that it is the best idea ever suggested simply because the starting point was that of "what is best for all", rather than "how can we fuck over the next guy". In that moment I realized that YES everything we create does revolve around money and we have allowed money to be OUR GOD. We have allowed to place value in an object/means of exchange over the value of a life, over the value of what the psychical has to offer us....ALL of us. I looked at how money/gold has held the power and control over the centuries. I looked at the stupidity people have done til this day over money. We have agreed money to be our survival point, which is a huge mistake. So YES when Equal Money was suggested, there was no turning back=this is the answer to creating "heaven" on Earth.
Another important point that was presented to me at Desteni that I was able to hear is "Change begins with ourselves". It is to accept that we have fucked up and not just complain about it BUT actually DO something about it. I was able to open up to myself and look at myself, my life self honestly. Where, What, How, When and Why I participated in deception, what my starting point is in participating in anything for that matter. How to handle myself in future participation, how to make sure that I am stable, that I am clear about my starting point in participation within this world! What is important that supports the common good of all and what supports self interest. I was able to understand the principle of what Desteni stands for and work on myself to stand with that PRINCIPLE. One can name this "principle" many things: "Place yourself in the shoes of another"; "Do onto another as you want done to yourself"; "Love thy neighbor"; "Oness and Equality".....and so on. The bottom line is that principle is valid in all ways which is my validation of what is real.
Desteni is a group of people who see and realize the above mentioned points AND more. It is a group that sees behind the veil of deception and it is ready to offer a solution to everyone. One just needs to have their ears open and be ready to face the truth! There is NO room for EGO. If you have the EGO you will be blocked to hearing anything on the first place.
So for those who are ready, please join us in this transformational self process we as a group have taken into our hands. Be part of the solution!

Art Work by: Ann Van Den Broeck

http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page (who we are, what we do)

http://desteni.org/ (investigate topics of interests and self)

http://equalmoney.org/ (place your vote for Equal Money System)

http://eqafe.com/ (purchase products and support Equal Money System)

On My Agenda.....

I woke up today, a nice snowy and cold Saturday morning. And the usual question popped in my head: "What is on my agenda today?" I always see things that need to be done however never seem to get to them entirely.
It's just like a thought- thinking of doing something and that is where it stays. There is no movement or action taken about it. At the end nothing of what I had intended to do gets actually done, leaving me unsatisfied with myself for not moving myself throughout the "agenda". Why does this happen? Or rather: why do I allow and accept this everyday? Have I become that lazy? Or rather: have I become that disorganized within myself that I can't carry myself through a daily task that needs attention, taking care of. Why do I NEED that extra push from life (circumstances, consequences, or other people) to move myself? Waiting, waiting....as the collective overview of humanity coming on an individual programmed level (waiting for something to push us to live, a savior, a miracle, an angel). Really, there is a time to "lay low" and a time to move and be active. However I often find myself "laying low", waiting on how things will turn out, on what will push me move myself throughout the day. It's like I am dead....or zombified rather. That is the organic robot part of us that simply carries on throughout the day, sleep walking, thinking, feeling, reacting to emotions, mind controlled.. Saying: "Well I wanted to do this", "Well I was going to do this but....", "Well I am so tired I will do it tomorrow", "Ahhh, do I have to get out of bed and go to work?...." And the physical moves forward while we are blindly moving within the physical, not even realizing that we are here because of the physical. However we don't have any respect for the physical because we are sleeping walking our lives, as the time passes you turn around and say "Where did my life go?" All those moment of enjoyment I missed because I wasn't even aware I was supposed to enjoy each moment. Not the final result but rather the whole process towards the final result.
So I am setting some goals for myself. A goal is a simple plan that involves point A to point B and everything in between. It is essential that in the "between" part is NOT missed, because a goal is a process and a process is each moment of passing time. "What did I do today?" This I must be able to answer with self satisfaction. This I must be able to answer with: Today I focused on this and that and I was able to create the time and enjoy the time of whatever task is it that I assigned myself to do today".
So the first step to my agenda is well, starting to move myself in perceptive of what needs to be done, what I need to do for myself, what to do with others. Enough time wasting!
Writing simply daily tasks should be assisting. That way I can see in in front of me, plan the approx time and then simply enjoy. There is no rush but there better be a movement...hehe


For more information of how to become alive in the physical visit:

http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page (who we are, what we do)

http://desteni.org/ (investigate topics of interests and self)

http://equalmoney.org/ (place your vote for Equal Money System)

http://eqafe.com/ (purchase products and support Equal Money System)

There you will find tools of self support and common sense as well as the first steps to realizing "holy shit, you have been a "zombie" pretty much all your life!"

Accepting Help?

Some time ago it was suggested to me (by my mom, James mom and James himself) that I go over James mom for help when the baby is born. I don't mind this idea, however I do have three cats at home that unless I find someone trust worthy of taking care of them I cannot leave behind. This gradually became an issue in my mind as the time of my pregnancy progressed. "From one perspective I am exited about Victor being born, but from another I am not looking forward to leaving my cats." This is what kept circulating in my head and caused me to be emotional towards the subject. I couldn't even talk about it.

When I look at the idea of me going there for help it makes sense.

When I look at the idea of leaving the cats for a bit like (1-3 months) without anyone to properly take care of them it makes no sense.

When James suggested that he will look after the cats and commute back and forth it makes the situation somewhat better because I can trust him with the cats.

When however commuting back and forth he will not be with me and Victor full time, so then it makes no sense again.

If I stay home with him and the cats then I will not get the needed help for at least the 1st month that my mom claims that I WILL need.

Then the question is "What is this help that I will need?" "Am I not capable of taking care of a new born?" I do indeed work with infants and toddlers, but of course I don't do half the things that are done at home by their mothers. I mean it is a process of learning together with common sense of how to care for another that is completely in the hands of ME. So tiny and "helpless" just seeing the outside world and kind of in shock I suppose: as in "where the hell am I". It has so much to learn about moving in the physical, moving the body, eating, adjusting to time and space.

Since I do not know what help I will require, I have decided that I will go over his mom's for the 1st month let's say. And check it out how it works. See how it will physically in time and space fit together with everything else. And James has accepted the responsibility of commuting for the cats for that amount of time. Once I have everything down and am able to move myself effectively with taking care of Victor, I will resume back home with James and the cats.

There is no point of getting mad about this, or emotional rather. Obviously any emotionality is self sabotage. So looking at this "issue" with common sense and making a decision of how it will be handled depends on what will work, what is necessary to be done so that the decision is practical and effective.

http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page (who we are, what we do)

http://desteni.org/ (investigate topics of interests and self)

http://equalmoney.org/ (place your vote for Equal Money System)

http://eqafe.com/ (purchase products and support Equal Money System)

NO Need to Lie or Cheat in EMS

If we ultimately look at why people learn to lie and cheat throughout their lives it is because by doing so they have the impression they will benefit from it and get something out of it.
We begin to apply those "tools" from early age because we are scared, we fear something, we want to impress someone, please someone, do better than another and ultimately "reserve" our spot on the top rather than being stepped on. So in a way cheating and lying is a form a competition that plays out subconsciously.
If I look back into my childhood the times I had to either lie or cheat were justified by being afraid I would disappoint my parents or done to spite another. As adults however it becomes even more tangled up as we look to place ourselves in better position within the world and more so within the financial world. We take what we learned as children, young adults and use it towards reassuring our survival so to speak. Because of the way  the current moment system is set up we are predespositioned to lie and cheat. Of course it occurs in different levels. One might steal, another may do an insurance fraud but no matter what the action is the bottom line is one has to cheat or lie their way out of it.
In an EMS that would simply not exist as the main cause=money will not be an issue. More over once we have established ourselves within an EMS the idea of pleasing another to get something out of them will not be necessary.
Ultimately in an EMS we don't live to "survive" we live to enjoy and expand ourselves using the resources provided from Earth with respect and dignity, we live a Dignified life where suffering is simply not an option!

http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page (who we are, what we do)

http://desteni.org/ (investigate topics of interests and self)

http://equalmoney.org/ (place your vote for Equal Money System)

http://eqafe.com/ (purchase products and support Equal Money System)