On the hot SPOT!

Yesterday there was a mother touring the daycare center for her toddler son. I was in the infant's room towards the end of the day. My director came in with the mother and said that the mother wanted to meet the toddler teacher (that would be me). All of the sudden I was put on the spot to answer "21 questions" about myself as a teacher and what I can offer her son if he was to come to my room. I felt "on the hot spot". First, no mother has done that before (that I have came across by). Second, I froze because I did not expect to be interviewed by a parent about my job. Third, apparently I looked really nervous (as my director told me later).
So here is what I experienced during from within:
1.  Hot flashes of embarrassment all over my body because I didn't know what to respond to the mother.
2. I felt unprepared thus I didn't know how to respond.
3. I had to make up what I said because I was "pleasing" the mother with responses she would have liked to hear.
4. When asked "what is the one thing I love about my job" I paused and in my head I was blanked. What IS the one thing I like about my job? I have been so disengaged in my job for some time because of issues with organization within the company and how things are handled. I have felt like I just don't want to be there to begin with. Everyday I go there, the best time is when children are going home. I have been easily annoyed with children's behaviors...and so on. So what response was I to give the mother...LoL. That I hated this place?

When the mother left and I realized all these points especially the last one (which in reality caused the other 3 points to come out as they did)- that was an embarrassment of itself for myself. How can I call myself a "teacher"? Where has my "passion" for teaching gone, my self expression with the children, with willing to teach, show, demonstrate! This is a serious point to look at. I mean I chose this profession (programmed way or not). I was self driven, open and dedicated to bring myself to the classroom, to come to the classroom and give what I would give myself as a student, what I would give myself to my child and to all children as myself. After all that is "what is best for all", that is equality and oness, caring equally-waking up and being exited about coming to the classroom.
Where did I get discouraged down the way? Was it the disappointment of limitation about what I can bring to the classroom environment, set up the classroom environment? Is it that I feel useless, annoyed with children's behavior, having to correct behavior without knowing how to approach it? Is it leaving work "miserable" because in reality I have not accomplished anything? Is it that I simply have given up on myself thus given up on everything else that I touch? Is it that my day just moves by with no visible self progress?

It is all of the above and more, and these points, perspectives are entwined, feeding off one another. So what can I do? There is one key point that if worked on it will "delete" all others by default. So what is the key point? What is the "me" point that I am facing here? The rest is a simple outflow.
-Self effectiveness
-Self progress
-Who am I as the expression of a teacher?
-Self enjoyment

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