Maintenance Within Process

Maintaining ourselves within our physical world (daily lives) is a lot like "process". It is actually part of process. Let's take for example a car. A car takes certain maintenance to keep it from eventually falling apart. Simple maintenance such as oil change, tire change, all the liquids that need to be replaced or added in order for the car to be in a "healthy" condition.
If for example, we fail at maintaining our car, it leads to consequences which are the direct result of being irresponsible thus we have no one else to blame but ourselves.
The car is just one of many examples. When it comes to maintaining ourselves within process I refer to how we allow ourselves to be led by our backchats, blame for others, so called energetic feelings and so on, instead of stopping ourselves at the very beginning and directing ourselves to a solution rather than having to "fix" the consequences of our allowance and acceptance later.
We have all been there, when one shit comes after the other and we fall into depression because our bodies only take it in and absorb our full of shit minds which leads to us feeling like shit, feeling sorry for ourselves and being angry at the world. Of course that is the direct result of us not taking care of ourselves in a timely manner.
And that is when one says "I failed in my process".
However once the point is clearly realized, that I don't have to participate in those emotions, that YES I failed BUT I cannot allow myself to stay in that "place" because I know that is a place I don't want to be at for sure. It takes self determination, self will to look up and begin climbing out of the hole I dug myself in. And no one else but I can do that for myself.
That is always the first step to helping ourselves and starting this process as many times as it takes!

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You are not alone in this.

Teaching Children to "Please" Us

In one of my class sessions last semester we discussed the problem with using words such as "Good boy/girl!", "Good job!", "Nice work!", "This makes me happy!" and so on.
Those are words we use with our children to show them that they are doing what they are supposed to be doing in their learning process. However the way the words are phrased indicates (in the long term) that we are proud of the child and that the child needs to please us in order for us to be proud of them. The issue is that we ultimately teach the child that they have to please us instead of teaching them to be proud of their themselves.
So a suggestion to showing children that they are "doing a good job" with their learning process is to actually indicate what THEY are doing in that moment, not Subjectively but Objectively. For example, if Lily (a toddler) is bringing her cup to the sink on her own and is ready to wash her hands one may want to say "Thank you Lily for bringing your cup to the sink", or "Lily you are ready to wash your hands!" (with encouraging voice).
By using the method of indicating what the child did "correct" we are expanding their vocabulary, showing them that THEY are doing something for themselves which in terms teaches them self responsibility, independence and confidence.
Many young children look up to adults because they trust them and want to model them, so it is our responsibility as adults to make sure that we show them how to be proud of themselves and in terms "please themselves", to say "I did my homework because I wanted to, because I know I am responsible to do my homework AND not because I wanted to please my parents".

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Gradual Release of Responsibility

In my literacy class this semester I learned something cool.
It is called "Gradual Release of Responsibility" and in this case it was about teaching children to read. So this method is part of something called "balanced literacy". Balanced literacy is when the curriculum involves the teaching of phonetics and comprehension in a balanced way. The idea is that statistically children have trouble comprehending text because when being taught to read they were focused on reading correctly and sounding out words rather than teaching them proper comprehension skills to know what they are reading about. So the result is a child reads a text perfectly but is not capable to comprehend what they just read because they were not taught context and the meaning of what they are reading. The funny thing is that sometimes that occurs to me. I will read a text, knowing the words or how to pronounce them but have no idea what I just read.
With balanced literacy the idea is to focus not only on phonetics but also on comprehension. The way this is done is by intriguing children to predict, take guesses, look at the pictures in the books and basically involving their brains. By teaching comprehension the phonetics come more easily. By balancing the two we get what is called a "whole reader".
Here is how it works in a simple form:

I do, You watch
I do, You help
You do, I help
You do, I watch

This is cool, because this method can be applied to teaching children and adults anything and everything.
It's like teaching from babies on forward. That is how a child can become independent and self responsible in life.

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