Mind Reflection Through Dreams!

Mind Reflection Through Dreams! 

I recently had a what I would call "unpleasant dream". I won't go into the details of it (I wrote them out for myself in my dream folder) but to summarize it-James was leaving me for another woman. The whole dream involved me, James and the other woman. The emotions experienced in the dream were that of betrayal and anger.
After breaking down the dream for myself I saw an important point. I am aware that dreams reflect me ALWAYS and it is not per say about the people that appear in my dream. There are many different reasons why certain people would appear in my dream and that those reasons are drawn from my mind and what "makes sense" to me as my mind so that I can assist myself. It's in a way the mind communicating with me, reflecting my process and showing me what I am accepting and allowing to exists as. To further break it down for myself I realized that the people appearing in my dreams are a representation point of myself as my mind that are triggered by fears, thoughts and points I have accumulated on subconscious level, internalized and have not been dealt with properly. That of course is for the dreams that hold a "meaning", not for the dreams that are caused by my mind reflecting on a movie I've just seen, for example.
Back to  the dream I had. If the people in my dream are a simple representation of myself as my mind, then I had to look at the emotions, reactions and thoughts that were going on with James and the other woman, as well as myself:
Myself= represents anger, sadness
James= represents "me" telling me I am useless, slacking off, and what I have become by allowing that which angers me to be internalized.
Other woman: represents me as a self expression, openness, willingness.
In the dream "she" was mean to me but I realize it was not in the context of resentment but in the context of "taking myself back".

To further more break it down  for myself I came up with a list of questions I can ask myself for any dream I have that "holds" a meaning.
1. What people in my dream represent as different parts of myself as my mind?
2. What was the main message in the dream that my mind was addressing from the subconscious level to the conscious level for me to see?
3. What is the problem that I am facing that triggers the dream to address it to my attention?
4. How to work on the addressed points/message as self assistance?
5. How am i going to direct myself based on the addressed message?

Answers regarding the current dream:
1. I already mentioned what the different people represent as mind.
2. I have allowed myself to be cold, closed, irritable and explosive with the people around me.
3. The specific problem is the relations and how I am with the people around me, not speaking, internalizing and exploding (that is geared specifically towards my grandma). With others I am not taking self direction, I am quiet, I let shit slide through. The big issue that contributes to the other two are me being indecisive, having to rely on others to make decisions for me (specifically my mom and James). The indecisive issue goes on a way deeper level, it was something I had built for myself since I was a girl.
At a chat discussion point with Sunette we walked Self Forgiveness together on this point:

Antoaneta Martinova: I forgive myself for allowing and accepting passiveness and submissiveness as a starting point towards others to avoid conflicts.

Antoaneta Martinova: I forgive myself for allowing and accepting fear of conflict as a starting point because I see conflicts as two people not being able to talk, not being able to reason and reaching a dead end.

Antoaneta Martinova: I forgive myself for allowing and accepting myself to "chose" to be like my father because in his passsiveness I saw "goodness" and a point of spirituality to the point where I would at one point call my father My Mentor.

Antoaneta Martinova: I forgive msyelf for allowing and accepting msyelf to avoid being like my mother who always took innitiative to decision making, becuasw possibly being the decison maker took a responsibility at which I can fail and be jugded by others.

Sunette Spies: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define submission as an action of passiveness that is a 'standing back and making way of/as others' to in fact justiofy my own fear of/as conflict.


Sunette Spies: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go so far as to spiritualize submission to hide the fear of conflict within and as me

Sunette Spies: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define submission as the action of passivity as 'being a good person.

Sunette Spies: I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand the extent of compromise I accepted and allowed in accepting and allowing myself to submit to others, reality and my mind because of accepted and allowed fear of conflict that I acted-into submission and hid with passivity and painted with spirituality.

Antoaneta Martinova: I forgive msyelf for allowing and accepting  msyelf to rather keep quiet and let someone else handle my decision making (mother, father, James, others) because I have allowed myself to be submissive and not take the responsibiltiy (as in always being taken care of).


Sunette Spies: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define submission as 'giving others the opportunity to live/be who they are' - when in fact, what i'm stating is - "I don't want to be who I am, but rather hide and not be seen" and so accept/allow myself to submit me and my living and in that acceptance and allowance; accepted and allowed  others to dominate/have power over/of me.

Antoaneta Martinova: I forgive msyelf for accepting and allowing msyelf to have  allowed my mom (after a certain age where I shoudl be able to take care of msyelf) to "fight" my battles.

Antoaneta Martinova: lol I can see how having a child will put me a possition for decision making..

Sunette Spies: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe responsibility is being responsible for others only, and in that defiiction/idea - I decided to rather hide and isolate myself in myself, my living and my world through/as submission to not have to be responsible for others or asked to be responsible for others = yet, now I face this exact point within me and my world as a child that is coming that is the very living-definition of/as responsibility and being responsible for another, but this time I have an opportunity to equalize and redefine responsibility as: walking with another as myself to be equal-to and one with me to be able to live and enjoy actual real living with me in equality and oneness = in this, responsibility is not a burden or a separation - but a way of life/living.

Antoaneta Martinova: I forgive myself for accepting and allowing msyelf to fear making decisions and place myself in submissiveness.

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