Baby taking over!

Yesterday night James and I went out to eat. We picked up two other people and headed towards the restaurant. It was late, around 10:30pm and I was thrown off my baby schedule. I was tired, hungry, sleepy.
My driving reactions were not functioning well. I almost ran a red light, cut off some people and was speeding. I was afraid to leave Victor for too long, in case he woke up and started crying. I didn't want Lana (James mom) to have to get up since we didn't really make arrangement for her to watch him. I decided we can use the time while he was sleeping to go out.
So I was driving and gave into the guilt and fear of Victor waking up. I was speeding, and basically driving like a "jerk". In the process endangering the people in the car and myself.
We got off to the place and James said that if I was to be driving like an idiot, he will not let Victor in the car with me driving.
I immediately experienced feeling bad and overwhelmed. I wanted to start crying but I held it in. I knew he was right in saying that. I apologiesed and said I was tired and sleepy. He said that I should have told him that and let him drive.
While at the restaurant all I kept thinking was about Victor and him waking up, us not being there, if he is hungry or not....this child is already "controlling" me..LoL I kept looking at the clock. I kept looking for our waitress to hurry up. I just couldn't relax and enjoy myself or the food. That sucks.

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