Female Ego (depended on a guy)

Yesterday James and I were discussing the option of me giving away my car and learning how to drive stick shift so that we can share his car for some time to come. The idea came about when I said that I wanted to purchase a new car because the one I have now has a high monthly payment and it eats gas like crazy. I said that I was going to look at some other brands and I asked for his advice on cars. That is when he said that it would be a great idea if we are able to share one car because given our financial situation it would be more practical do do so for the time being. At first I was jumped at it and said: "Yes, that is a cool idea". I continued driving (we were going to the store to get dinner) and as I was driving I began to think about how it would be to share one car. The word dependency came up a lot, and I got a bad feeling about being depended on another to take me around or be on another's schedule and so on. The more I thought about it the more practicality came out of the window and female ego came in. And then I saw myself driving a stick shift and getting into a car accident because I have failed before at learning how to drive a stick and there is a point of resistance and fear when it comes to me driving a stick shift.
We went to the store, I did not really say anything to James. On the way back i said that I was afraid of driving stick. He said it is something that is learned and put into muscle memory and it takes practice, but it is not that complicated. I took my female ego out and welcomed practicality back. The bad feeling was gone and now I saw ideas of how we can make this work. I looked at how our schedules will be, when and where we need to be at certain times with the coming up school semester, his work and mine. I also looked at the fact that a huge chunk of my paycheck will be actually mine to spend on something else. So as soon as we figure things out and put them into real perspective I will be giving my car back to the bank and learning how to drive a stick shift! YAY...hehe

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